Posted by: Mark, Transforming . . . | August 5, 2011

Remembering Ryan: I Wish . . .

I’ve been sitting at the computer a good portion of the day taking online CE credits, so let’s just say my brain is a bit fried.   I will admit that I did spend a couple of afternoon hours enjoying the pool with a friend.  Yet, at 9:30pm, time for a break to see what’s new on YouTube.  Then, I watched this video.

Remembering Ryan:  I Wish . . .

Brain fried or not, time to post.

There have been times in my life when I’ve considered what Ryan did.   And I’m not just saying that.  Read my post about my 12 step Homosexual Anonymous days when I faced the cross roads;  Come Out of the Closet or Suicide.  Even to the point that it would have looked like an accident.  Yet there was always this little thread of connection to someone in my life.  Even if it felt as fine as spider web silk, there was always a connection to some friend and I could hear them saying “It’s not really that bad.  You’ll make it through this, no matter what you’re feeling right at the moment.  I Care.  We Care and we’re here for you.”

I am SO grateful for all the friends who have walked into my life.  I’m sorry I don’t remember who authored the quote that goes something like this:  “Some people come into our lives for a Reason, a Season or a Lifetime.”

Well, I’ve had quite a few “Reason Friends” and I’m so grateful for them.  Our paths crossed at just the right times that their Unique Aspect of Divinity had a gift to share with me and then My Unique Aspect of Divinity had a gift to share with them.  Little gems that appear along life’s journey.  Keep shining your light with others and may something I’ve said inspire you at a time when you need a little lift.  Feel my Gratitude for you, wherever you are.

I’ve also had quite a few “Season Friends” and I’m grateful for them too.  I actually reconnected with a college roommate last night and we spoke for almost an hour.  Now we’re making plans to see each other when I’m in Miami in October.  Our “Season” 28 years ago is starting up again and I suspect we’re converting to “Lifetime Friends”.  We even talked about a few of my other college friends who have disconnected from me once they heard I was gay.  I still cherish the times we spent together and I only wish them Love, Joy, Peace, Gratitude and Happiness.  Yes, I also wish them Acceptance.  Acceptance of themselves that they may feel more Peace in their lives and Gratitude for us sharing this beautiful planet together.  Feel my Gratitude for you, wherever you are.

So, what does all this have to do with the video and Ryan?

In all my years of searching and reading and studying and workshopping and more reading and talking with friends and more reading and more workshopping, I’ve discovered that we EACH have a UNIQUE GIFT that we bring to the planet at this time.

Yes.  Out of the 6,953,663,472 people on the planet as of the website at 02:03 UTC (EST+5) on Aug 06, 2011 YOU have a Unique Gift to give that only YOU can give.  Yes.  Only YOU can give.

No matter how crazy life may seem, all we need to do is Breath, Relax, Feel and Stay in the Present Moment, feeling Gratitude.  Because when we are in the Present Moment, feeling Gratitude, nothing can harm us.  We’re taken care of.  We’re provided for.  It doesn’t matter what others think about us.  Besides, what others think about me is none of my business.  They are having their own thoughts and that’s their business.  And any worry or concern is either in the past, that I can’t do anything about because it’s the past, or it’s in the future and then I’m reminded to just trust that the future is in Divine Order and everything is falling into perfect order.  Just remember to Breath, Relax, Feel and Stay in the Present Moment, FEELING Gratitude!

The only thing for me to do is listen to my own Heart, my own Higher Self, my own Inner Knowing, my Own Unique Aspect of Divinity and follow it!!!  Be Grateful for this moment.

The only thing for YOU to do is listen to your own Heart, your own Higher Self, your own Inner Knowing, your Own Unique Aspect of Divinity and follow it!!!  Be Grateful for this moment.

I’m grateful that I found Davey Wavey/wickydkewl on YouTube several years ago and that he posted this video.

And, this video is a great reminder that I have no idea what is happening in the lives of the people around me.  What’s happening in the lives of the people in the cars next to me at a stop light, on the highway, in line at the grocery store, on the other end of the tech support telephone line?  And, the list continues.

What can I do to add a “Spark a’ Mark” to their lives?  What kind word can I say?  Will a smile really make a difference in their lives?  Will looking them in the eyes, connecting at a heartfelt level, feeling gratitude for them being here at this time with me, really have some influence on them?  Well, let’s just say I want to open a safe space for them to just Be.  Be who they are.  It’s always their choice to make a change, or not.  It’s not up to me to make a change for someone yet I can let them know that someone recognizes that they are here and that they matter.

Just realized I hadn’t posted this link for India Arie and Idan Raichel’s “Gift of Acceptance“.  Ahhhhh . . .  Says so much, especially for Ryan and his family.

So take a moment to Breath, Relax, Feel and Stay in the Present Moment, FEELING Gratitude!  Namaste Dear Ones.

And, there’s more . . .

Feel Peace & BE the Transformer . . .


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